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Talking About Sexuality

Sexual and Reproductive Health Awareness Day

Feb. 12/2004

Theme: Unzip it ….And Talk to Your Children (From Planned Parenthood Fed.)

Don't wait for your child to ask questions about sexuality

. Some children gain information (possibly incorrect) from playmates and assume that she/he has all the facts required. You need to decide what is important for her/him to know based on established family guidelines before problems occur.

Encourage them to ask questions

. If you wait to hear the entire question before assuming you know what she/he will ask, there is a much greater chance of her/him getting the information she/he needs. Ask her/him what she/he wants to know and what she/he already knows.

Hear the message behind the question

. Sometimes the real question is "Am I normal?"You can explain to him/her that each person experiences puberty a little differently but that many other youth have the same concerns.

Use "teachable moments

". While watching a movie or listening to the lyrics of a song, strike up a conversation about how characters behaved and how that relates to your families beliefs and values.

Help him/her practice informed decision making skills

. Provide children with options when possible and encourage them to think about the consequences and benefits of each choice. They will learn to gain knowledge before making quick decisions.

Talk about the positive aspects of sexuality.

If you constantly discuss the negative consequences of sex, youth will feel that you are not being honest. If sex only precipitates negative outcomes, why would so many people enjoy doing it?? It is about providing a balanced perspective. Young people that are self confident and feel positive about their bodies and sexuality are more likely to protect themselves from crisis situations because they are comfortable asking for help and information.

Acknowledge that you feel uncomfortable.

Being honest about your fears may alleviate the stress for both of you. It also teaches your child that although this is not easy for you, you care enough about her/him to make sure she/he has the answers and support her/his needs.

Know that you don't have to have all of the answers

. No one has all the answers—not even the self declared experts. Answer the questions you can and call a doctor or sexual health professional for the things you don't know.

Have a sense of humour.

There are bound to be humourous moments out of excitement, nervousness or silly comments. As long as no one feels embarrassed or ignorant as a result of a joke, a little laughter goes a long way.

For more information contact Public Health Clinic Services at 519-355-1071 ext. 5901 or online at
CKhealth@chatham-kent.ca
Posting created by: Health and Family Services group.
Last updated: Wednesday, October 05, 2011
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